A Complaint-Free Life?

I read a post the other day on the terrific Zen Habits blog which led me to this website, A Complaint-Free World. I began thinking about complaining and the toll that complaining can take on my own wellness.

A lot of the complaining that I do is what I think of as “good-natured grumbling.” I usually handle big setbacks reasonably well, but it’s the little things that get to me. I grumble when someone pulls out in front of me while I’m driving or when the line at the grocery store moves too slowly or when someone in my family forgets to do what I’ve asked them to do for the third time in a day. I may tell a funny story about how my flight got delayed 4 times, but really, I’m complaining.

When I complain, even when I think I’m doing it in good humor, it creates a sense of being a victim. I feel more negative toward the world and more negative toward myself, and it makes it harder for me to make the choices that will make me feel better.

For the past few days I’ve tried to be mindful of what I’m saying and to catch myself when I’m complaining. I’ll stop in mid-sentence and tell on myself: “Oops, was I just complaining?” While I don’t think I’m complaining any less yet, I find that the act of catching myself and telling on myself shifts the mood in the moment. Instead of the annoyance which might have lasted for several minutes, I find myself laughing off the irritation and moving on, and that, it seems to me, is the kind of mindful reaction that really does decrease my perception of stress and improve my sense of well-being in the moment.

Give it a try!

How often do you complain? What effect does it have on you?